I Love Autumn

I'm sorry to those who are left. I kind of feel like why bother because who gives a shit about my opinions or what my twisted view of the world is. I'm in no way whining or pleading for someone to "get" me or my writing, I just see the kind of garbage that people regard as good writing or good journalism and I'm floored. Standards are just so fucking low these days, and even though I am not a great writer, I wouldn't want to be lumped into that pompous overrated group. I'm not mopey or depressed, quite the opposite. It feels like fall here. The house is a bit chilly in the mornings and not because I have to turn on three industrial fans all over the house in order to drown out the shit hole neighborhood. I'm still out in the country, so until around 7:30 every morning, I get to sleep with the door that goes out to the deck open every night. I wake up in a great mood. I've done almost everything I can out here for now, so I plan to head back to town some time this week, which is going to suck. It's been three months since I've had to deal with that fucking house and neighborhood, and I'm really not looking forward to it. I'll be happy when it's sold. I've decided to go back to school in the spring, maybe full time, it just depends on where I'm working at the time. I am thinking of starting a photo editing business, but I'm not sure there is much of a demand for that out there, and I'd have to borrow money in order to do it, and I'm in no position to start borrowing money from a bank or family or anyone.

I created a new place to put my more personal ramblings, when I get it all up and ready I might link to it here in case anyone is interested.

John is doing fine. He has many appointments coming up to let him know where he's at. No more numbness since he's been wearing the carpal tunnel wrist braces at night. This, however, freaked me out, considering these are from the same series of studies that kept us from being cell phone users until I got pregnant. I'm not saying that's where his tumor may have come from, I'm afraid it's things like these that may help the tumor to return. It's quite shocking how common brain tumors are these days, almost any neurosurgeon will tell you they're on the rise. Anyway, staying on top of medical research is something we're all going to have to learn how to make part of our lives.