I Am Neurotic

Well, that's not news, but going to this site makes me feel a hell of a lot better about my own weirdness! Some do remind me of long forgotten childhood neurosis, and some of the entires I thought, "Why is that neurotic?" I still do have some intermittent OCDish shit that lingers, like checking the hotel room 20 fucking times before I can leave it, but not much in the way of tile counting, pre-sleep joint popping, strict order of tasks in the shower, and the other strange little things I did when I was a kid. These are some of my favorites, 'cause sometimes we have to laugh at our harmless ticks, I know I do.

pens

My pens must remain untouched by other human hands. I will happily let someone use my pen if the occasion arises, but it is straight in the garbage afterwards or ‘keep it.’ If it’s a pen I’ve become particularly attached to, an awkward ‘sorry, I can’t lend it to you and I can’t explain why; I just can’t.’ It’s not a germ or hygiene issue, but some deep violation of the symbiotic relationship between a man and his pen.

british accents

When I have to ask for directions and the location is fairly obvious, I’m always embarrassed. To avoid the humiliation, I ask in a British accent so my incompetence is socially accepted.

salt

I have to eat salty crackers, like saltines, pringles or Cheezits, with the salt side down, and usually in one bite. I also have to always apply the salt before the pepper to any meal, because of an old myth I have believed that the salt “helps prepare the meal before the pepper arrives.”

hair and shredded carrots

I have reoccurring dreams about my mouth being full of an unending amount of hair clippings. I think that’s why I can’t stand eating shredded carrots.

Starburst

When I eat Starburst, I can only eat them in the following order: yellow, orange, pink and red. I stop eating once I’ve run out of enough candies to complete the pattern.

popsicles

I hate the touch of unpolished wood. Holding a popsicle stick gives me goosebumps. I have to eat popsicles by holding the stick with my sleeve, even though it gives me purple stains.

(via Sullivan)

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