Earwig and His Fearsome Critters: Stand Uppity Tour

The drive up was fucking insane. We had left way later than we’d planned to, we dicked around the house long enough to make it really tight, but I guess that’s how I do everything these days. I used to be early to everything, I don’t know when that change happened (long before I became a mom), but it really annoys me. We had to stop by and see my mom and our cupcake before going to see my grandma at the nursing home, which, according the GPS put us at already 8 minutes late getting there. The rain was monsoonish in spurts, sometimes sideways, with the wind shoving the car toward the east, making steering almost uncontrollable at times. The water was probably a half inch deep on the pavement, during the worst of the downpours. A few years ago, John hydroplaned during rush hour and was forced to turn into and ride along the barrier on the freeway. Ever since, he’s nervous, and sometimes overly-cautious driving in the rain. I had to give him a little gentle encouragement, reminding him that you have to drive through the hydroplane not slow down or brake. And in those conditions you don’t want a buddy anywhere near you. You don’t need anyone around the car making risky decisions, and it's rare you'll get pulled over in those conditions, anyway. No cop wants to stand out in that shit, although we couldn't do much more than 80 even in the dryer spots.

By the time we got to Covington we had gained 10 minutes, and were due to get there before the show started. I honestly thought that it would be packed, I really did. I was shocked that not only was it not sold out there was no one in the balcony. It is a pretty big room, though, and as stated, the weather was horrible. Around the club, which seemed to be a pretty touristy area, was almost a ghost town. The people of Cincinnati and Newport have no idea what they missed, and now, no one likes them. I tried to warn you people.

Eugene Mirman was up first. I saw him at the bar when I first walked in and there is a strange temptation to want to hug him, he just has that kind of presence. He exudes warmth, that’s not a Russian stereotype! Just kidding, one of his jokes was about made up stereotypes, like Russians have bigger elevators, throwing back to that. It was much funnier the way he delivered it, obviously. Sarcastically, he commented on how great it was that there was still daylight visible outside, ‘perfect for comedy’, as the light coming in from the huge window above the balcony was quite noticeable. At first, it forced a tone that was somewhat similar to being in a high school auditorium watching a projector with the lights off, with natural light still streaming from the windows above. Eugene made the audience forget about the time of day, though. Under the circumstances, in a spacey, open large room with only the floor full, a semi-enthused Sunday evening crowd (at first) and being the opener, Eugene looked confident and comfortable as he rolled along, even when the sound didn’t carry well back and forth through the audience. He’s so fucking funny while being genuinely charming, he subtly commands the audiences attention. Incidentally, I had never noticed his mesmerizing eyes, before, but they're quite hypnotic. After he showed his 23/6 primary coverage videos on his newly bought Target sheet, and finished his awesome set, the part of the crowd who didn’t know much about Eugene before they came, went home and googled him (after the other guys performed, they didn't get up an leave right afterwards), and probably consider themselves budding fans today. It would be great if sometime this summer I ran into him somewhere on the campaign trail.

Andy was up next, he was everything I’d hoped he’d be. Kindler was all over the place, all encompassing. Demonstratively pacing and posing while making fun of and picking apart Dane Cook and Robin Williams, doing what he had to do to get that lingering laugh, and it worked to a fucking tee. He’d hold his awkward teetering stance an extra few seconds until he got the desired effect. Andy was very good at bringing the audience along, adapting to the way they were absorbing his style. Other than on Letterman I had only heard his stand-up online, so it was a wonderful treat to be able to watch this masterful comedian take the stage. The comedians talked to the others that were just off stage, between that and watching/hearing their reactions to each other’s jokes there was a separate interesting side-show kind of going on for a comedy geek like me.

Marc Maron, as he has been since I first saw him in the early-mid nineties, was fucking on, and as always, generally looking as if he could snap or break down at any second (although he didn’t appear to be nearly has high-strung as he's seemed in the past). His crazy, long, peppered hair prompted me to imagine him in colonial garb with a hair tie and those Jefferson curls on the side of his head. The image came easily, was amusing and slightly flattering. Marc is a patriot. He is astute and has always resembled a young contemporary Carlin when it comes to balls and integrity, with his own style, delivery, and truth. By the end of his set, the crowd must have been sad it was all over. I listened to the CD, Tickets Still Available, that Marc generously gave me yesterday (I didn’t ask for free shit, I’m not an asshole), and it is fucking awesome. When I have some money I’m going to get Marc back and purchase some Kindler and Mirman goodness, as well.

I can’t convey how cool it was to see all three of these awesome comedians on the same ticket, and then to meet and talk with them was like consuming a giant opium filled cherry at the end of the night (you’ll see when you see my smiles in the pictures). Each of them are the type of person you could sit and listen to for hours. It defies logic why this show was not sold out. Had I known there were that few a number of intelligent people who want to laugh in that area I would have tried a little harder to enlist others to take the drive. Idiots.

As we were standing next to Merch counter, so I could thank them and shake their hand, John pointed out to me that I was still wearing my nametag from the nursing home, I never fail to make an ass out myself. I have almost no decent pictures due to the lighting, and in those that the guys took with me after the show, I look like a bloated PMSing fatty. I’m a fat ass, but I hope I don’t always look that fucking fat-faced! I can't look at them without getting the urge to drop to the floor and do some push-ups. That's probably not a bad thing.

They were all so fucking nice. I still think Mirman is wrong, he wasn't in Louisville for the last Comedians of Comedy in the fall, he was there the first time around, which I missed. Sorry Eugene, but if I’m wrong I owe you a whiskey and some smokes, or something. With Maron, we spoke of AST, and Marc indicated he's not really supported on that site, which I had never realized. I'd like to know why that is (although, smartbunny just called Marc hot in the promo picture three days ago, I don't think she'd get much argument from anyone). And after Andy brought up Annie Leibovitz, we very briefly talked about Hunter and Matt Taibbi while they were waiting to get paid (Marc and I were in agreement, he's an interesting writer, but he's no Hunter, which is really an unfair comparison--I'm just still curious why he crossed the picket line).

So awesome, I'm such a fucking nerd. They were so accommodating and warm, not even a hint of insincerity among the three, even though it was clear they were tired. I was kind of giddy and a little bit shitty at that point, so I was probably annoying, but they sure didn’t show it. Man, I wish this wasn’t such a short tour as I’d make the effort to go see them again. I’m going to tell my friends/family on the West coast that if the shows aren’t already sold out, I’ll buy their fucking tickets for them. Thanks for coming to our little shitty part of the world, guys, couldn’t have asked for a better show. Will post pictures after post-edit.

----------------
Now playing: Elvis Costello & The Attractions - Oliver's Army
via FoxyTunes